Coping With Loss
Dear Frankie,
Last week my brother Bodhi went to the vet. He was very sick and weak. When my Mom came home, he wasn’t with her. She told me she had to have him put down.
She explained that the vet gave him a shot that made him go to sleep forever. My Mom said she promised both of us, when we were puppies, that we would never have to live in pain or be so sick that we couldn’t eat or stand up.
I guess that was the best thing to do for Bodhi. But my heart is just broken. I can’t stop feeling sad. I have no one to play with or share my thoughts.
Can you tell me how I can stop missing him so much?
Best Regards, Dali
Dear Dali,
Losing a close family member is very hard. What you are experiencing is grief and loss for your brother. Grieving is a natural process we all go through when someone we love leaves us. What you need now is comfort and time to say goodbye. Here are some things other dogs have done that comforted them. These are just suggestions. Understand everyone grieves in their own way.
Perhaps you could wear Bodhi’s collar to feel something that touched him every day and also has his scent. You might even sleep in the bed where he slept. Sitting close to your Mom and being with someone who loved him as much as you did might also offer you some comfort.
It’s essential to stay healthy and physically strong. Even if you don’t feel hungry, eat your meals. You must keep up your strength, go for walks even when you don’t feel like it. I know you go to the dog park, so talk to your friends. Reminisce with them about the times that Bodhi was goofy and funny. Humans are big believers in sharing thoughts and feelings as a way to feel better. In this case, they may be right.
But here’s the thing, Dali, even though he is gone, when you think of him, it will be of times he was alive, and the two of you were together. These are memories you will have and cherish forever. I know it’s hard to believe, but thoughts of him won’t hurt as much as time goes by. There will even be a time in the future when you think of him that will make you smile or maybe even laugh. I promise.
Best, Frankie
© 2021, Geneva Woodruff
Frankie is an eight-year-old schnauzer poodle and a rescue. She is a certified emotional support animal for a single retired educator.
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