Retirement Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up To Be
Dear Frankie,
My father just retired and is driving my mom nuts.
My mom is very organized and neat. She’s an everything-in-its-place kind of a gal. On the other hand, my dad is a go-with-the-flow kind of a guy. When my mom starts to make the bed, he asks her why, they will only unmake it when they go to bed.
When she stacks the dishwasher, he says she is wasting her time rinsing the dishes.
The kicker was when he said my mom should quit the gym she had been going to for years with her friends. He said that would free time up for them to go jogging together. My mom went ballistic at his lack of sensitivity.
When will my dad understand that life at home has been a living hell since he retired?
Myrtle
Dear Myrtle,
It appears your dad has not considered the impact his being home 24/7 has on you and your mom.
I bet if you pointed out some of the things he has said or done, he would say he was only trying to be helpful and thought your mom would like an activity for them to do together.
Perhaps all that is needed is a conversation in which you tell him how his behavior makes you feel and suggest ways he might be helpful. That said, he might require a more forceful hand. It is always best, however, to start off gently and work up from there.
Best, Frankie
© 2022 Geneva Woodruff
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