What Happened to My Word is My Honor?
Dear Frankie,
My friend Harry scores a 10 when it comes to generosity. When he brings a snack to the park, half goes to me. When watching TV, I get his favorite chair. If I forget my coat, his coat becomes mine.
The problem I have with Harry is he doesn’t keep his word. Let me give you an example. I told Harry I had trouble remembering some of the agility cues at the last competition.
He said, “No problem, invite me to a trial, and I’ll coach you.”
When I invited him, he told me to ask another competitor to be my coach.
Another issue I have with Harry is he will tell me how he is looking forward to us going fishing, hiking, or camping out in the tent in his back yard. Then he’ll invite someone else.
When I try to talk to him about his behavior, he says, “Look, I’m not responsible for your social life. You need to spread your social net.”
What can I say to make Harry change his behavior?
Olive
Dear Olive,
Harry is not going to change. When you try to talk to him about his behavior, he tells you that you are the one with a problem. He accuses you of being needy and says he isn’t responsible for your social life.
The Buddhists say expectations are the cause of misery. If you want to avoid getting hurt by Harry, stop expecting him to keep his word.
When he offers to do something, remember he can’t be depended on to do what he says he’ll do. If you can do that, your feelings won’t get hurt.
Best, Frankie
© 2022 Geneva Woodruff
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