Mom is a Marathon Runner
Dear Frankie,
My mom is a health nut. Besides the organic food, toothpaste, cotton clothes, and probiotics, she also runs marathons. At least six months before the race, she is out there pounding the pavements regardless of the weather.
My motto has always been, “To each his own.” But that idea goes over with her like a lead balloon.
So, here’s the rub, my mom insists I run with her four days a week. She says it’s good for me, improves my breathing, expands my horizons, and it’s a time for us to be together.
The last reason is a joke. After a half-mile, I can hardly walk, let alone run next to her.
Do you think it’s appropriate for an eleven-year-old dog — that gets cracked paws and has a touch of arthritis — to be training with a marathon runner?
Lem
Dear Lem,
Talk about self-involved. Why in heaven’s name would she think a dog of your age and in your condition would be capable of running four days a week?
There are some strategies you might try to immediately stop an activity that borders on the cusp of animal abuse.
First, on the running days, hide.
Second, if she tries to tempt you with a cookie, don’t fall for it. I know the cookie is going to take a lot of restraint. But think of the option.
However, if she is so hot about you going with her on a run, demand she buys you a stroller for runners. After all of this it should eventually occur to her that it would be best that she run alone.
Do remember to make a big deal when she returns to show her how much you missed her. You want to communicate it wasn’t being with her that you objected to but rather the activity.
Best, Frankie
© 2021 Geneva Woodruff
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