Stage Mom Strikes Again
Dear Frankie,
It’s not even October, and my mother is already obsessing over my costume for the Halloween Dog Parade. Almost every night, she brings home another outfit for me to try on.
I don’t particularly like trying on costumes. But if it makes her happy, why not? It’s the least I can do.
Here’s the problem: if I don’t win first prize, my mom will become distraught and rant and rave for days about incompetent and stupid judges. Last year, she had to take three sick days from work to recover.
My dad tried to make her feel better by saying, “Look, it was only a dog parade.”
As soon as he said it, I cringed. Then, as expected, she went ballistic and accused him of not taking the parade seriously and being an uncaring jerk.
Why does my mom make such a big deal about my winning and get so unhinged? Any suggestions on what I should do to help her feel better if I don’t win first prize?
Milly
Dear Milly,
Your mom sees you as a winner and herself as the person responsible for raising a winner. When you don’t get the reward she believes you deserve, she also feels judged.
From your description of her reaction to the judges and your dad, it appears she has difficulty accepting the opinions of others when they aren’t the same as hers. She also handles her anger and disappointment by accusing the judges of being unfair and blaming your dad for being uncaring and insensitive.
Chances are she will react the same this year if you don’t win. Now that you know what to expect, the only thing you can do is quietly wait it out. The less said, the better.
Also, keep in mind that this too will pass. That said, you might win, and all your worrying will be for naught. I’m keeping my paws crossed.
Best, Frankie
© 2021 Geneva Woodruff
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