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Retirement
Dear Frankie,
My dad has talked for years about spending time with me after he retired.
In his first year of retirement, he was gone a lot, visiting retirement communities in the south to find the perfect one. After we moved, he spent another year shopping (my mom hates shopping) for the perfect furnishings for our house and garden.
When the house and garden were finished, I thought he was in the home stretch and would be around more.
When he announced he was taking up golf and had booked lessons and time on the green 7 days a week, I gave up.
When I complained to my mom, she laughed and said, “You can’t change a leopard’s spots,” whatever that means.
I feel gypped.
Stanley
Dear Stanley,
I see why you feel let down. But what humans say they are going to do and what they do are two different things.
For example, humans often say they’ll take it easy when they retire or cut out sugar when they go on a diet. But when faced with days without an activity or meals without dessert, they realize that they can’t live that way.
Your father likes projects, so as appealing as hanging out at home seemed, it’s not who he is.
What your mom meant when she said leopards don’t change their spots was that people like leopards basically don’t change who they are.
My advice is, if you can’t change them, then join them. Have you thought about becoming a caddy?
Best, Frankie
© 2026 Geneva Woodruff
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