Living With a Sibling With a Disability
Dear Frankie,
My parents and my brother, Louie, were in a serious car accident several years ago. At the time, Louie was only four years old, and he suffered a brain injury. He spent months in the hospital and underwent extensive therapy, but unfortunately, the therapy did not help much.
Now, my parents must do everything for Louie because he is unable to walk, talk, feed, or dress himself. They also need to take him to frequent medical and therapy appointments. Louie requires all of my parents’ time, attention, and money, which means there isn’t much left for me.
I wonder if there are places where Louie could live with other kids who have similar needs. I love my brother and feel awful about what happened to him, but the prospect of his lifelong care feels terrible.
Flicker
Dear Flicker,
I understand that you feel overlooked and that you have lost the childhood you once knew. The reality of a serious head injury is that it lasts forever. Unless your parents have significant financial resources, there are generally few options for Louie to live elsewhere. Even if such places were available, your parents might prefer to keep Louie at home and in their care.
Consider sharing your feelings with your parents. Doing so might encourage them to hire someone or ask a family member to help care for Louie, allowing them to spend more time and attention on you.
If that isn’t possible, they could look into hiring or finding someone to be a big brother or sister for you. There are also community support and activity groups specifically for siblings of children with disabilities. These organizations can help your parents better understand your experience and learn from what other families have done for their children.
Don’t lose hope; many siblings in your community are facing situations similar to yours, and one or two of them might become lifelong friends.
Best, Frankie
© 2025 Geneva Woodruff
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