The Spare
Dear Frankie,
My mom told me the reason she adopted me was to replace her dog Lulu, who had just died.
She thought a new dog might help her think less about Lulu and feel sad.
I was still reeling from leaving my mom and littermates, but I was willing to try. I did my best to entertain her and listen whenever she wanted to talk.
But everything I did paled in comparison to Lulu. In her eyes, Lulu was the best in everything. Eventually, I became so beaten down by her comparisons that I gave up.
I asked Rufus, the dog park mayor, what he thought. He said he wasn’t surprised the humans also compared their children.
“Look at Harry; he’s a prince, and they called him the spare.”
Rain
Dear Rain,
Your mother has placed a heavy and unrealistic burden on your young shoulders.
She seems confused about her role as a parent. Parents are responsible for meeting their children’s needs, not the other way around.
No one can replace someone else or erase another person’s grief. Perhaps your mom is so wrapped up in her feelings of loss that she is unaware of how her comparisons impact you. Let her know how hurtful they have been. Tell her that if she focused more on you, she might discover you have many unique and special qualities. If in the future she does, that’s great; if not, tell her you think it’s time for her to find you a new home.
Best, Frankie
© 2025 Geneva Woodruff
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