Trouble at Home
Dear Frankie,
There has been a lot of tension between my parents these past few months.
They have been arguing about the track, poker games, thugs, 401k. I need to figure out what’s going on.
All I know is my mom is distraught with my dad and says to him, “I can’t believe you have done this again. You promised me the last time you would quit. I believed you and helped you. The 401k is for our retirement, not racetrack and poker debts.”
Then my dad says, “You didn’t seem to mind when I was winning at poker and bought you that ring. It’s a bad streak. Nobody wins all the time. I know I can make it back. But until I do, I need to cash in the 401k. These guys I play poker with are putting on the pressure and want their money this week.”
The argument usually ends with my mom leaving the room crying and slamming the bedroom door. Recently, my dad has been sleeping with me on the couch. It has been weeks since I have had a decent night’s sleep. Is this ever going to end?
Tony
Dear Tony,
What is going on is your parents are arguing about your father’s gambling debts. His first debt was from his bets on the horses at the racetrack. Your mom helped him pay this debt because he promised to quit. Your mom is mad because he is in debt again, this time from playing poker.
Your dad is asking your mom to allow him to withdraw the money from their retirement account called a 401K to pay off his debts, and your mom is refusing. He is trying to persuade her by saying he needs the money as a temporary loan and will put the money back into the account when he wins the money back. Your mom knows professional gamblers don’t take unpaid debts lightly, so she will probably bail him out, stopping their current arguments.
However, the underlying problem for why they have these arguments is not going to go away until your father comes to terms with the fact that he has a gambling problem and needs to seek professional help to overcome it.
Best, Frankie
© 2023 Geneva Woodruff
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