Should I Dump My Boyfriend?
Dear Frankie,
I met Reginald during my first year at C.I.C. (Canine Institute for Canines). I’ll never forget the moment when I realized a full academic scholarship meant that I would be able to go to C.I.C.
The first time Reg spoke to me, he invited me to sit with him at lunch. And as they say, the rest is history. Reg and I spend most of our free time together, doing what most couples do in a new relationship: learning more about one another and our families, holding paws, going for walks, cuddling, etc.
Before Reg met me, he spent time with friends at his parent’s club, swimming, playing tennis or a round of golf, eating club sandwiches, and doing whatever else they do in places like that. I don’t play sports. I can, however, eat a club sandwich.
My parents are from Haiti and work long hours at physically demanding jobs. When they have time off, they want to relax, watch TV, play cards, and socialize with friends and family. Recently I asked Reg why he hadn’t invited me to the club. He said I would be bored because I didn’t know how to play golf or tennis. He also said he felt uncomfortable telling his club friends that I never learned to play sports because my family only cared about having parties and watching TV.
I asked my mom what she thought about my conversation with Reg. She said I should tell him that Haitians also cared about getting a good education, working hard, and being close to friends and family, not about hitting balls at a country club. She said I should dump him.
Lizette
Dear Lizette,
I can understand that you have questions about your relationship with Reg ever since he shared that he felt uneasy discussing your sports “handicaps” and your family’s lifestyle with his friends.
If you decide to break up with him, all you need to say is you found his superior attitude toward you and your family insulting and disrespectful.
If you want to give him a chance, ask him how he feels about you not being able to play the sports. If it is important to him and you are open to learning, ask him to teach you. You certainly aren’t the first person who picked up a racket or a club or put on a set of water wings for the first time at 15. If he says yes, I suggest you choose swimming. Once you have a few dog paddles, you will have a future of lounging to look forward to.
If the issue is he is ashamed to tell his friends that his girlfriend’s family are working-class immigrants, that is a red flag. Your mom’s advice might be the way to go.
Never forget how special you are and what you have been able to accomplish. Not many 15-year-olds can list a scholarship at the most prestigious canine institution in the country on their resume.
Best, Frankie
© 2023 Geneva Woodruff
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