Taking a Stand
Dear Frankie,
There are a couple of dogs at the park who are bullies.
I spoke to the park director about their behavior, and they were expelled for two weeks. When the bullies returned to the park, they made it clear to their followers not to be friends or speak to me.
I talked to Belinda about the bullies; she agrees they are terrible. She even said she was glad I reported them. However, Belinda still plays and sits with them during snack time. I sometimes see her laugh at their dumb jokes. When I asked Belinda why she would be friends with dogs who were mean to other dogs, she said she didn’t want the bullies not to like her. Why would someone want bullies to like them?
Roxanne
Dear Roxanne,
If everyone stood up to bullies, there wouldn’t be any.
Unfortunately, most dogs don’t have the courage, conviction, or willingness to bear the consequences of taking a stand or calling out an injustice.
Belinda doesn’t like how the bullies act. But she also needs to be liked. She understands what the cost would be if she were to state her feelings publicly or to the authorities. She can’t bear being left out, even by bullies.
Your question brings to mind a conversation I once had with a man who lived in France during WWII. After the war, many of his neighbors said they were a part of the resistance. He said that wasn’t true: 15% of them were resistors, 15% were collaborators, and the remaining 70% did nothing and went about their lives, hoping it would all go away.
The reality is most dogs are seventy percenters.
Best, Frankie
© 2023 Geneva Woodruff
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