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Dear Frankie

May 3, 2023 by Staff Writer

Blame the Victim?

Dear Frankie,

When my mom­ma gets dressed in fancy clothes, I know she’s going out, and I will be left behind. 

When she returns, I can always tell who she has been with by the smell of her clothes. Some of the scents I can’t place, but most are of people who are absolutely crazy about me and would have loved to see me. It really frosts me that she can deny them my company.  

I don’t understand why she doesn’t take me with her. Do you think it has anything to do with my history of biting when someone invades my personal space? You see, when I’m in a large gathering, and someone I don’t know tries to pet me (I’m irresistibly adorable), it is terrifying, so I bite them to protect myself. I always give the person a warning. But some people are so dense they don’t have the smarts to know when to back off. 

In truth, it has been quite some time since I have drawn blood; usually, it’s just a sharp nip. My momma says I would’ve been “put down” years ago if I were a big dog. 

Charlie

PS: What does “put down” mean? 

Dear Charlie, 

You are some lucky dude to have a mom who puts up with you and your outrageous behavior. It’s dogs like you that give pit bulls a bad reputation. 

Where do you come off thinking it is all right to “nip” your mom’s friends? Talk about narcissistic entitlement. How would you like it if some kid kicked you to protect themselves when you approached them? 

You don’t seem to understand that biting is against the law. Dogs that bite are considered a danger to society. Some states have a one-bite rule. If you were reported for biting, and I can’t image why you haven’t been, no questions would be asked; you would be paws up. In other words, “put down” means executed by lethal injection. 

Be thankful that time alone is the only consequence for your anti-social behavior.  

Best, Frankie

© 2023 Geneva Woodruff 

Comments and letters can be sent to Frankie at dearfrankiecolumn@gmail.com. The Fairhaven Neighbor­hood News publishes the Dear Frankie column. To receive a free online sub­scrip­tion, readers can email neighbnews@comcast.net, request their name be added to the email list or visit www.neighbnews.com to read the paper online or to download the latest issue. 

•••

Click here to download the 5/4/23 issue: 05-04-23 ArborDay

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