The Adoption
Dear Frankie,
I am an eight-week-old puppy. Yesterday, my mom told me I was about to be adopted by a human couple without children.
I can’t bear the thought of being without her and my littermates. She said we have no choice.
I’m terrified and have no idea what to expect.
Thanks, Buster
Dear Buster,
Being adopted by a couple without children is like winning the canine lottery. This couple thinks they will be your parents, and that’s a real bonus for you. Parenting, you see, is the most competitive sport in America. So, they need you to make them look good.
The first thing they will teach you is to sit. Whatever you do, don’t sit unless they give you a cookie. When you learn how to sit, and they ask you to sit, pretend you don’t understand and see if they will give you two cookies.
It worked for me because my mom’s single, and she’ll do anything to make herself look good as a parent.
Best, Frankie
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© 2026 Geneva Woodruff
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