Accusations
Dear Frankie,
I have a friend who often accuses me of having feelings I don’t have.
Yesterday, for instance, he said I liked a mutual friend more than I liked him, which isn’t true. Last week, he said I disliked someone I hardly knew and had no feelings about one way or the other.
When I asked him what it was I said or did to lead him to these conclusions. He said there was nothing specific that he could put his paw on; it was just a feeling he had.
I’m at a loss for what I can say to convince him that he is misinterpreting my feelings.
Angi
Dear Angi,
It sounds to me like your friend is trying to gauge your feelings about him. He appears to be insecure and seeking validation that you care about him. So, assure him that you genuinely care and reinforce it by throwing in a few reasons why.
I would tell him, however, that if he is interested in knowing what you think or feel, it would be best that he ask you rather than make assumptions.
If his accusations persist because he believes he understands your feelings better than you do, you should seriously consider distancing yourself from him. This is not the way friends communicate in a healthy or equal relationship.
Best, Frankie
© 2025 Geneva Woodruff
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