Should I feel neglected?
Dear Frankie,
Roger and I have been a couple for five years. We see one another three days a week at the dog park.
We live in the same neighborhood and could visit one another outside the park, but he says he needs his “Guy Time” and space.
When we are together, he is affectionate. He likes to sit beside me and snuggle. He has never given me a present, which is okay because I’m not materialistic. We have never celebrated a holiday, an anniversary, or my birthday. When I talk to him about feeling lonely and our relationship, he professes his love for me and tells me I mean the world to him.
What can I say to Roger to get him to spend more time with me?
Ashley
Dear Ashley,
Love is a verb; a verb requires action. Sounds to me that Roger is big on the talk and light on the action.
What is Roger doing to show you he cares, other than smooching? Of course, you are lonely. The relationship, the little that exists, is on his terms and primarily physical.
If you want to give him a chance, you can tell him you want to spend more time together and see if he changes his behavior. If he does what you ask, the lesson is that Roger needs to hear what you expect from a romantic relationship. If, however, things don’t change, you need to move on and find someone who wants to be with you and show you how much he cares.
Best, Frankie
© 2024 Geneva Woodruff
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