Smelly Hair?
Dear Frankie,
How would our Moms like it if they went to the hairdresser and had their hair washed with dog shampoo and sprayed with dog hairspray? I bet they wouldn’t.
It really upsets me how far humans take the idea that we are children dressed up in dog clothing. Or, however, that sheep saying goes. You get my point.
I know we are lucky to have wonderful human families. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. It’s just you could gag from the smell of that lavender shampoo and hair spray the groomer uses. You should hear how the groomer carries on about only using the purest, most organic, and natural products. My Mom, of course, laps it up. She’s at the health store every other day. This stuff takes about four weeks to fade before I get back to smelling like my ole doggy self.
Then, wham, two weeks later back to the groomers. Am I alone on this?
Disgruntled, Henry
Dear Henry,
I see from your picture on your letterhead you are a beagle. Beagles are known for their acute sense of smell. That’s what makes them excellent hunting dogs. Can you imagine sport hunting in this day and age? If ever there was a despicable human activity for recreation, this is it. But that’s a topic for another column.
I don’t know how you can communicate your feelings to your Mom. This is a matter you need to take into your own paws.
When outside, roll around on the grass, or if it’s winter, the snow. On rainy days ask to go out often. I understand how unpleasant walks can be in inclement weather, but they are the closest you will get to a shower. If you walk in parks, go under low bushes, pine if you can find them, and brush against the needles. When you are at home, hang out by the garbage can and take your naps on top of old toys or blankets you have slobbered on for years.
I think you get a general idea — rub out the bad smells, hang out by the good ones. None of these strategies will restore the essence of you in a few days. However, they might get you back to your ole self, say in three weeks. Hey, it better than four. Sorry, I don’t have a quick solution to offer.
Best, Frankie
© 2021 Geneva Woodruff
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